"Boyfriend Ad on Craiglist"

Looking for a boyfriend who doesn't cheat,
does what I say,
who has a real job,
takes out the trash,
has dinner prepared for me 3 days a week,
who would love my five kids 12 and under,
who has their own car,
who picks up the tab everytime we eat,
who does the laundry,
and walk the dog,
and who isn't bi,
and doesn't have any uncurable STD's,
and must be willing to go through a backround and credit check, thankyou.
Please contact Mercedes Alexis Bentley Washington at 561-123-4567.